To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
