I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
