Dual....:-)
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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