next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize