Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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