My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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