I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
