my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
