I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
