Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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