the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
