I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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