i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize