Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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