This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
