I'm really into asian looking animals
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
