I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
