its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
