I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
