I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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