I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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