Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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