i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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