how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
