He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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