Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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