It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I will be naked everywhere
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
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