I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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