You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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