is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Ladies don't puke and tell
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.