Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!