Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick