One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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