yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
