if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
