i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
