She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
