at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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