WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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