its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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