She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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