They should really pass out barf bags in church
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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