Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
