i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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