I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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