"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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