Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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