batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
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we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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