Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
