check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
