i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
