Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
