just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
