You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
