11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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