he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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