Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
