People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
