Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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