yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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