he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am mentally ready for anal.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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