he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
